Have you ever taken the preliminary question “Who is right, who is wrong”? Have you ever tested someone else? It never seems like fun to anyone, does it? How do you want to stop playing either side of the debt game once and for all? Here you will find five practical keys to building the magical relationships with co-creation and abundance you have always wanted. Discover relationship advice that opens the door to mutual respect and cooperation in all your important relationships.
Have you ever noticed how many people play: “I’m right, you’re wrong”? Have you ever wondered why this is so common, especially in close relationships? This problem begins with our culture teaching us to focus our attention on right-wrong thinking.
The good news is that you can learn this power-over strategy and start having more genuine collaboration in your relationships. Sounds good? Please continue reading. Just ahead you will find five keys to open the doors that lead beyond “Us Against Them” thinking and into “WE”.
Our life journey has included years of “Us vs. Them” training. When we were growing up, we heard every step of the way: “It’s a dog eating dog”, “Look out for number one”, “Look at your back” and other such expressions. These created strong mental habits that govern our thinking as well as our actions. Even in our most loving and trusting relationships, we often end up playing good-bad, right-wrong games.
Do you have lawyers?
One of the most important skills we have all learned is how to prove ourselves right and defend ourselves against being proven wrong. This has become very deeply ingrained. It will not change overnight, and it will not change just by “wanting” it.
The only way to start shifting this way of thinking is to learn something new: skills and understandings that open up new possibilities. Your desire for more co-creative relationships is what prepares you to use the first key.
Key 1 – INTENTION
Are you clear about your intentions? Do you know the difference between a strategy and an intention? Knowing this difference is important. Without business relationships, you tend to get stuck and want others to agree on your strategies. This can make people feel closed and defensive. Even worse, being tied to a particular strategy dramatically limits your chances of being satisfied.
A strategy = An opportunity.
On the other hand, a strategy-free intention only describes what you value and the qualities you want to experience in a situation. Starting with a pure intention like this is necessary when creating results that will satisfy everyone. Identifying a clear, strategy-free intention is also important for using the next key.
Key 2 – ADJUSTMENT
Is everyone on the same page? Do you want similar results? Establishing adaptation is the second key to successful co-creation. In life we go about our own lives and try to reach our own goals, but we are still all connected. This sets limits on how far we can achieve our own results without cooperation.
The process of creating adaptation begins with becoming clear about what is important to everyone. It creates a common vision of success. The beginning with a learning focus paves the way for simple agreements and abundant results, which gives much greater satisfaction for everyone. You need adjustment to use the next key.
Key 3 – NEGOTIATION
Will you take into account everyone’s needs? Will you continue with it until everyone is happy? Understanding the difference between negotiations and compromises plays a big role in being willing and able to stick to the process.
Compromise is the way of a “us against them” world. It starts with identifying what everyone wants. Then you will see who is willing to give up parts of what they want until everyone can live with what is left. This is because your attention is focused on lack, limitation and fear. It is based on the belief that there is not enough to go around, so you have to settle for or take what you can get.
Negotiation is the way in a rich world. It starts with identifying what everyone values and what is missing for them. Then, while keeping your attention focused on everyone’s values, strategies emerge that allow everyone to be happy, without having to compromise. When everyone is happy with the strategies, you are ready to use key number four.
Key 4 – AGREEMENT
What is the plan? What must happen and who is willing to do what? When everyone has said their word, people often think they have made a deal. In reality, they have only expressed vague understandings of what they want and how they want it to happen.
Co-creation depends on your ability to make clear, feasible requests that lead to specific agreements. Powerful agreements are specific about who, what, when, where and how. They include a positive affirmation of each person’s willingness to do their part.
Explicit agreements increase your efficiency and everyone’s satisfaction. Once you have made your powerful agreements, you are ready for key number five.
Key 5 – EMPLOYMENT
Will your agreements continue to work for everyone? Will they create the results you want? Without liability, you can not know if your agreements actually work. If you are waiting to find out that they do not work, you may have already built up dangerous levels of frustration, resentment and resignation.
You create accountability by setting specific times to review how well your agreements are working and schedule discussions to see what changes may be needed.
These responsibility meetings allow you to continue to practice the 5 keys to co-creation. 1 – Do you still have a clear intention? 2 – Are you still in ALIGNMENT? 3 – Do you need more NEGOTIATION? 4 – Is it time to make new AGREEMENTS? 5 – How will you ensure ongoing RESPONSIBILITY?
Responsibility is the last key that opens the doors to “WE”‘s co-creative power.
Now you have all five keys that open the doors that lead down the path to co-creation of genuine partnerships. We hope you choose to learn more about these five important skills and commit to practicing them in all of your important relationships.